Wednesday, October 27

it's bow time!

See what I did there? Bows? Time? Because there are clocks on the skirt? Yukyukyuk...

It's still in the 80s here, but I'm breaking out the tights anyway. It is nearly October and gosh darn it, I'm going to wear my tights whether or not the weather cooperates. I got this particular pair of tights last year from ModCloth, and out of all of my lace-y tights, these have held up the best. No runs, no tears, nothing. I don't know if that's indicative of all of ModCloth's tights, but it certainly is promising, especially since all my other lace tights can't seem to handle a day on my legs nearly as well. Which I don't understand. It's not like I sit on velcro all day or brush my legs against cacti on a regular basis.

button top, gap
'lost time' skirt, anthropologie
houndstooth bow button cardigan, j.crew
satine tights, modcloth [x-ish]
wide belt, calvin klein
'allie' flats, bcbg
pave heart ring, coach

And now, moving on to something completely different. I know there here at ol' ke.KE, the discussion is typically light-hearted and such, but there are some things that really get to me. One of these things is this piece, which was published on Marie Claire's dating blog just a few days ago.

First, I believe that everyone is entitled to his or her opinion. However, I also believe that when you are writing for a well-known women's magazine, even if it's just for their online blog, you need to be more careful in how express your opinion. The blogger in question, in that story, came off as condescending, hateful, and all-around insensitive and ignorant about the issues of body image, health, and obesity.

The piece is centered around the CBS sitcom Mike & Molly, which has two overweight people cast as the lead couple. The author expresses that she'd be "grossed out if [she] had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other." Really? She makes it seem as if on the show, the characters are nude or something, thereby exposing her innocent eyes to "rolls and rolls of fat" whenever they lock lips. I'm pretty sure that's not the case, with censorship and all. So, overreaction much? And her belief that "obesity is something that most people have a ton of control over" is pretty out there. Yes, there are people who are obese due to careless overeating, but there are also a lot more who are that way because of medical and/or emotional issues. It is unfair to just lump them all together as being collectively unmotivated or lazy and to use that as an excuse for prejudice.

Also, I have noticed that no one really cares if the lead male in a show is overweight as long as his female lover is hot and skinny. Think of King of Queens, According to Jim, and even cartoons like The Simpsons and Family Guy. The uproar seems to only come when the lead woman (and apple of the lead man's eye) is overweight as well. The only exception I can immediately think of to this is Roseanne, but that may be because Roseanne was pretty irritating, so people focused more on that rather than her weight. What is that all about?

But I digress. What really got to me is the simple fact that the author felt uncomfortable watching intimacy between two people just because they're overweight. Not because she is put off by intimate displays in general (like I am -- seeing PDA beyond quick kisses, hugs, and hand-holding kind of weirds me out) (which is why I tend to seem verrrry interested in checking out my popcorn during the inevitable make-out/make-love scenes in movies), but because she's "grossed out" by two overweight people sharing affection, and seemingly not only on TV, but in real life too. That's amazing. And what amazes me more is that I know there are thousands of people out there who share the same thought. I guess that for these people, you're always beautiful just the way you are... unless you're fat. In which case, you're disgusting and shouldn't have human emotions or experience love. Ugh.

Rant over.


  1. I always love seeing your recreations... familiar pieces always made so new by the combos you make.

    I didn't read the article, but sounds like it is very insensitive (and rude)... it's one to want to help people become healthier in their lives, but attacking by name calling isn't helping anyone.

  2. She has since issued a hasty apology. Just imagine if she had gone off on gays or interracial couples like would be unthinkable. But it's OK to talk about "fatties" in mainstream media. Thanks for pointing this out. Marie Claire has been irritating me for a while.

  3. First up, love your outfit. That skirt looks so cool and unique, makes me love Anthro more and more.

    Secondly, read the article and a few of the comments. Wow. What a pile of @#$%^&. Granted the writer may be inexperienced and ill-informed/misguided, but the editor! Where was he/she?? That article should have NEVER made it to print/online. But kudos to Marie Claire for not pulling the post and letting the commentariat keep posting. As someone who may fall within the "norm" body size in north america, but considered large/overweight/fat in the asian community, I have struggled with my body image for years. I'm nearly 40 and I am still working on self-acceptance. It's attitudes like the writer's that make me question if there's any hope at all for this society to accept every body type, and for our media to show more diversity.

  4. I love that skirt- you look so cute! I will have to read that article - how sad. You are right - people are overweight for so many reasons (medical and emotional) and no one can judge them just by a quick glance. If you ever watch Biggest Loser you can see the issues with weight go very deep, not just something as simple as "quit eating".

    So to cheer yourself up, send me a Target outfit submission for my Target Reader Outfits on Friday!

  5. I totally agree with what you said. After I read that article (before I read what you had to say), I already was like "WTF is this lady saying?!" As a plus size girl, I am working on the path to get healthy, but by NO means has it been an easy ride. Although I am only 19, it's hard work. Everyday is a struggle. And while I know that there are people who have a hard time dealing with different issues, being overweight is not a joke and you can't always control it. It's easy to put weight on, but it's not easy to take it off.
    Also, love is love. No matter your size, race, gender, ect. People try so hard to get pass these stereotypes while people like her keep them going...=/

    Anwhoo, on a lighter note, that skirt is wonderful! It looks so comfy! Hope that you are having a great week so far!

  6. Oh wow. I had an urge to punch the author multiple times while reading that Marie Claire post. At least she posted an apology afterwards. But still. I don't understand why people constantly have to judge and denigrate anyone considered different, it is so so frustrating to me. You response to it was great and well-reasoned Amy! I hadn't thought about the fact that people are okay with overweight (and even slobby) male leads all the time, but it's not okay for female leads to be anything less than perfect.

    On a less angry note, I love that we are skirt twins today! :)

  7. Cute outfit....I completley agree with also always annoys me how a lead male character can be overwieght but the woman always has to be really skinny...its so ridiculous!

  8. AmyK, I think the author of that post has since had a foot-in-mouth moment. Although I'm in no way defending the article (as a matter of fact, I think it's shockingly insensitive), if i really, REALLY wanted to give the author the benefit of the doubt, my guess would be that he/she was trying to say that obesity is an epidemic in this country, and obesity-related diseases claim more lives in the U.S. each year than cancer. In that light, maybe some people feel that portraying an obese couple as the lead protagonists on a TV show is reckless and irresponsible, in that it glamorizes obesity rather than trying to address the problem. I remember a similar uproar when Calista Flockhart was cast as Ally McBeal- people felt her character glamorized anorexia- same problem. So while I don't endorse the views of the author in that I don't feel specifically put off by overweight people, I do understand the sentiment of those viewers who are concerned about the social commentary the show's creators are making by casting obese actors to play the hero and heroine of a prime time show.

  9. wow i had not seen that article and am so glad you brought it up! i am not sure if the author feels bad for saying what she said or if she was more worried about the backlash...either way the whole thing is unfair. i think that just speaks to how society as a whole is flawed (and how women have it hard enough already...and us having to worry about weight certainly does not help).

  10. I read the article after hearing what it was all about. Sad. It bothers me when any group is considered "not normal".

  11. wow, that is so offensive! it is SUCH an annoying sitcom convention of the goofy/ dumb/ fat guy and his hottie wife. jeebus forbid a full-figured actress get a gig in a prime-time slot, and *gasp* she has a love life. gah.

  12. Love your skirt, you look smashing... and your commentary on the marie claire article was very on point. Such a childish reaction to weight is ridiculous. Although, I also sort of agree with Tara B. Having a parent that is obese I know how scary it is, I worry all the time about the health effects it will have for him in the future... so while the article's author's view was a bit disgusting at the same time I am not a fan of media portraying obesity as acceptable. On a personal level its scary and a serious problem!! (and all this being said, i haven't seen the show and don't know if they address the health risks and such)

  13. Wow. I don't know where to begin. Well, thanks kelinda.KELINDA, as I like to say, for posting on this. I might never have seen it. You look cute in the skirt, btw, and between you & Golden Means, I'm wishing I owned it. At any rate, it *is* good that Marie Claire left the article up online instead of acting like it never happened. I wasn't surprised to learn, via the followup, that the author had body image issues. The recent coverage on bullying has been interesting. I haven't followed the bullying topic intently, but it's good that dialogue is starting. Sometimes things are hot topics for awhile and then die down. I'll be curious to see if there is understanding and progress as a result of what is being talked about. I don't know if I would call the author a bully, but I would say she was out of line. Then again, it's secretive thoughts like these that generate some problems in the first place.

    @ Closet Crisis - Thanks for sharing your experience. It touched me to read.

  14. It's terrible when anyone uses a public forum to spew hatred. I would expect to hear something like that on one of the trashy T.V shows like Jerry Springer, not in what I thought was a decent publication like Marie Claire. Somehow, any apology would seem insincere at this point IMO.

    Anyway, Amy, you know you're wearing one of my favorite sweaters. I ended up getting this sweater because of you and I am so happy I did.

  15. I'm glad that so many of you have respectfully shared your own views on the article!

    Tara B and anotherfishinthesea bring up a good point in that it IS important to not glamorize obesity because it IS a major health problem. It is an unfortunate reality that a lot of people struggle with obesity and that it is in many cases a preventable condition. Yet, just because it is preventable doesn't mean it is easy to "cure." Obesity has deep emotional and psychological roots and one of the problems I have with how the author handled the issue is how easy she makes it seem to get to a healthy body weight. Typically, obesity is much more complicated.

    From what I understand, the couple in the television sitcom do not really glamorize being obese because their characters do deal with the health and emotional issues that come with being substantially overweight. They also just happen to be in love and kiss once in a while. And maybe the female lead wants to feel beautiful in her own skin. Is that really unacceptable behavior? Is it really detrimental to show this on television?

    But this is all besides the point. The issue I have with what the author said is that she explicitly states that she finds the idea of overweight people kissing disgusting, and not that she is concerned for them (though she does touch on this after her initial "grossed out by rolls of fat" thing). Disgust and concern are two totally different reactions, and unfortunately in the article, her disgust seemed to outweigh her concern.

  16. Love the skirt---need to wear mine again soon. :) And I agree with the rant. I haven't seen the show (though I love the lead actress from her time on Gilmore Girls!), but mannny people in this country and probably everywhere think it's just fine/socially acceptable to speak horribly about people who are overweight/obese. NOT okay.

  17. I'm a lurker on your blog, 'cause I love your outfits and your unique sense of style. I never comment, but I felt compelled to today. Thank you for posting what you did about the article, and it was timely- I just finished reading about the backlash created by this article. "Fat" people are the last group that making make fun of is considered socially acceptable. Her disgust and ignorance *clearly* shone through in the article. Whether you believe that overweight people "choose" to be that way or not, it was ugly- plain and simple. As someone who has always struggled with my weight, I find it demeaning and dehumanizing.

  18. It's in the 80s still? Ack, hope it cools down for you soon! And, oy, that MC article was shocking. I'm actually still in disbelief about the whole thing. I have a gig very similar to Ms. Kelly's (I write about sex/relationships for and so much of my job is rightly spent considering my audience. While your readers aren't always going to agree with you, it's important to be respectful. I think all bloggers, whether personal or those with major sites, do this and I'm hoping that the MC blogger was simply experiencing a lack in judgement and that her incredibly hurtful comments aren't a reflection of who she is as a person.

  19. you look adorable as always. i reeeallly wish that i could have gotten this cardi. i am so in love with it!